Choosing not looking forward to…

It has been a while the phrase of “looking forward to” is pondering in my mind. I am realizing how much that is being used in the Western Cultures and how much it impacts one’s ability to stay in the present. Whenever we have an event that is planned and we feel joyous about, we start to day dream about it. When that happens our energy is then shifted to that timeframe that doesn’t exist. We do this especially if the present is not as joyful.

I often ask my clients during the sessions how much of their energy is in the present. They reflect and come back with the answer between 20-30%. Most of our energies are sent to the past, or future to look over the events that is either already passed and we cannot do anything about it other than shifting our perspective of the past, or to the future for the stuff doesn’t even exist yet. There are so many teachings and books already out there that teaches the importance of the now. As now is the only moment we can insert our creative forces, our breath to make the difference. Therefore I will not be teaching about that here. I will list some references in the end. Rather I would like to speak more about the importance of self-abandonment with the act of not being in the moment.

Colette Baron-Reid calls living anytime other than now “living in the Ghost Lands”. As a coach, I like that metaphor. That gives a great image of the act, whether that Ghost Land is the land of Jamaica you will be vacation in three months from now or the land of your childhood where your Mother was not nice enough for you based on the perspective you hold at the moment. No matter what Ghost Land living you are engaged in, you know that “the land of the now” requires you to be is right here, right now. This Ghost Land living actually is very costly in many ways and not very helpful since you will never be accepted as an expat there… And I tell you, even if you did, that is nothing you wish to participate!!!

So then how do you exit from the act of Ghost Land living practice? I would offer you the question I ask to my clients often, what makes you want to immigrate to the Ghost Lands? Figure that out. No matter how unpleasant you feel that your relationship to the present moment is, it is still the only “real” existence that there is. So come back and occupy your body, every cell of it until your last breath. That will be the time to abandon your body and your reality, not now. Come and visit the now and understand what makes the Ghost Lands so appealing for you. Once you figure that out then the healing and your willingness to participate in your life increases.

Today, my offer for awareness to you is that catch yourselves when you use the phrase of “I am (very much) looking forward to…” and see if you really mean it. If so how willing are you to call you back. And find a fun way to explain your friends and family why you started to choose “not looking forward to…” being with themJ But just BE-ing with them…

May you find tremendous amount of love for you to come and meet with you here and now. May you be courageous and curious enough to come back and occupy your “now” and your body fully.

References: Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Tara Brach Insight Meditation Center

With love and blessings,

Tijen Genco

Published by Tijen Genco

Tijen Genco is a certified Professional and Life Coach. Her client portfolio include C-Level senior executives, division heads, and chiefs of staff across wide variety of fortune 100 companies; country managers of non-profit organizations; entrepreneurs, lawyers, and seasoned coaches. Tijen holds Master of Science degree in Management with concentrations in Organizational Behavior and Coaching from the University of Texas at Dallas. She has obtained Master Black Belt in Lean/Six Sigma Productivity Improvement Methodology from Merck Sigma Center of Excellence. Tijen’s engagements as trusted advisor and management consultant have resulted in multi-million dollars in productivity benefits for fortune 100 companies. Tijen holds certification in various Yoga methodologies, Pilates and Meditation. As a wellness coach she has been instructing mind-body classes at prestigious clubs in the US since 2008. Tijen specializes in Executive Coaching, Organizational Development and Cultural Transformation along with Process Excellence. She provides individual as well as group/team coaching and workshops to corporate clients and private audiences worldwide. Tijen is passionate about social issues and participates in Social Responsibility efforts. She extends her specialty of cultural transformation and behavioral changes in the healthcare industry to non-profit organizations for enabling desired behaviors towards better health. In 2013, she served 3 months in India helping to improve the quality of Maternal Health services in the rural areas, coaching non-Government Organization resources. She has served at the board of International Coaching Federation (ICF), Philadelphia Chapter, as the VP of Education and Professional Development. Along the side of her coaching business, she is chairing the Global Executive Coaching Community of Practice of ICF, and instructing mind-body classes.

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