It has been a while the phrase of “looking forward to” is pondering in my mind. I am realizing how much that is being used in the Western Cultures and how much it impacts one’s ability to stay in the present. Whenever we have an event that is planned and we feel joyous about, we start to day dream about it. When that happens our energy is then shifted to that timeframe that doesn’t exist. We do this especially if the present is not as joyful.
I often ask my clients during the sessions how much of their energy is in the present. They reflect and come back with the answer between 20-30%. Most of our energies are sent to the past, or future to look over the events that is either already passed and we cannot do anything about it other than shifting our perspective of the past, or to the future for the stuff doesn’t even exist yet. There are so many teachings and books already out there that teaches the importance of the now. As now is the only moment we can insert our creative forces, our breath to make the difference. Therefore I will not be teaching about that here. I will list some references in the end. Rather I would like to speak more about the importance of self-abandonment with the act of not being in the moment.
Colette Baron-Reid calls living anytime other than now “living in the Ghost Lands”. As a coach, I like that metaphor. That gives a great image of the act, whether that Ghost Land is the land of Jamaica you will be vacation in three months from now or the land of your childhood where your Mother was not nice enough for you based on the perspective you hold at the moment. No matter what Ghost Land living you are engaged in, you know that “the land of the now” requires you to be is right here, right now. This Ghost Land living actually is very costly in many ways and not very helpful since you will never be accepted as an expat there… And I tell you, even if you did, that is nothing you wish to participate!!!
So then how do you exit from the act of Ghost Land living practice? I would offer you the question I ask to my clients often, what makes you want to immigrate to the Ghost Lands? Figure that out. No matter how unpleasant you feel that your relationship to the present moment is, it is still the only “real” existence that there is. So come back and occupy your body, every cell of it until your last breath. That will be the time to abandon your body and your reality, not now. Come and visit the now and understand what makes the Ghost Lands so appealing for you. Once you figure that out then the healing and your willingness to participate in your life increases.
Today, my offer for awareness to you is that catch yourselves when you use the phrase of “I am (very much) looking forward to…” and see if you really mean it. If so how willing are you to call you back. And find a fun way to explain your friends and family why you started to choose “not looking forward to…” being with themJ But just BE-ing with them…
May you find tremendous amount of love for you to come and meet with you here and now. May you be courageous and curious enough to come back and occupy your “now” and your body fully.
References: Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, Tara Brach Insight Meditation Center
With love and blessings,