Fear-less Choices

Fear is form of an energy almost everyone get to experience while being alive. We know it is debilitating. Despite the fact that we often experience the same fear over and over again we don’t know how to release the fear or how not to take part in it. To me, most of the teachings out there are teaching people the wrong methods for engaging the fear. Most people will teach you to “get rid of it”. When one choses the method of battle with anything, it just adds to the energy exchange and does not release it. Some teachers are teaching to be more compassionate towards the fear. Again, this method ends up feeding the fear energy as well…

So then how one get to free one’s self from the fear experience? It is very simple. By choosing otherwise and simply stating it out loud. This works, because fear is like anything else, is a choice. Regardless you are choosing to engage in it consciously or unconsciously you are making a choice. So if the choice is being done at the unconscious level, of course then the first step is to create awareness and bring the choice making to the conscious level. Once the choices are being made at the conscious levels then you get to choose otherwise. It is then and only then you can offer the compassion to the parts of you has been experiencing the fear. When one experiences fear, it is often there is a dismissal and disrespectful exchange occurs with that part of you. The compassion is not to be offered to the fear itself but to the part that has been paralyzed by this choice over the years… (I will not be speaking on this blog about how you get to engage in fear-accepting choices to begin with. These are often loaded onto your psyche through the genetics and ancestral offerings of the lineage or by the cultures that you are part of).

In order to make this fear-less choice making a fun exercise for you, I am going to give you a song to sing…Below, I modified the lyrics of famous Diana Ross song called I will Survive….In my version, the Name of the Song becomes “I will Thrive”! Since the survival is a choice of “being able to live or function when faced with a struggle”. I am offering you the word “thrive” so that you chose to flourish instead of surviving…I intentionally left some of the lyrics that speaks about the dependency in the relationship as we do often show that in our behavior when we relate to fear. It is my prayer and hope to make the fear-releasing process more fun and joyful for you…That is the best way to make a change!

I will Thrive

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side
Then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along

And so you’re back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I have chosen to change the lock
I chose to make you leave your key
I am aware that you came back to bother me

Go on now, go walk out the door!
Just turn around now ‘coz you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I’d crumble, did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no not I, I will thrive
For as long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live and I’ve got all my love to give
I’ll thrive, I will thrive, hey hey

(I, I will thrive)
Hey hey
(I, I will thrive)
Every day
(I, I will thrive)
Oh yeah

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Just know now how to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry but now I hold my head up high

And you see me, somebody new
I’m not that chained up little person still engages wih you
And so you felt like dropping in and just engaging with you
But now I’m savin’ all my lovin’ for all who’s lovin’ me

Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now, you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me all along?
Did you think I’d crumble, did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no not I, I will thrive
For as long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live and I’ve got all my love to give
I’ll thrive, I will thrive, hey hey

Diana Ross, 2012 Live Concert Performance of I Will Survive Concert


Tijen Genco, MS, PCC, MBB

Published by Tijen Genco

Tijen Genco is a certified Professional and Life Coach. Her client portfolio include C-Level senior executives, division heads, and chiefs of staff across wide variety of fortune 100 companies; country managers of non-profit organizations; entrepreneurs, lawyers, and seasoned coaches. Tijen holds Master of Science degree in Management with concentrations in Organizational Behavior and Coaching from the University of Texas at Dallas. She has obtained Master Black Belt in Lean/Six Sigma Productivity Improvement Methodology from Merck Sigma Center of Excellence. Tijen’s engagements as trusted advisor and management consultant have resulted in multi-million dollars in productivity benefits for fortune 100 companies. Tijen holds certification in various Yoga methodologies, Pilates and Meditation. As a wellness coach she has been instructing mind-body classes at prestigious clubs in the US since 2008. Tijen specializes in Executive Coaching, Organizational Development and Cultural Transformation along with Process Excellence. She provides individual as well as group/team coaching and workshops to corporate clients and private audiences worldwide. Tijen is passionate about social issues and participates in Social Responsibility efforts. She extends her specialty of cultural transformation and behavioral changes in the healthcare industry to non-profit organizations for enabling desired behaviors towards better health. In 2013, she served 3 months in India helping to improve the quality of Maternal Health services in the rural areas, coaching non-Government Organization resources. She has served at the board of International Coaching Federation (ICF), Philadelphia Chapter, as the VP of Education and Professional Development. Along the side of her coaching business, she is chairing the Global Executive Coaching Community of Practice of ICF, and instructing mind-body classes.

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