New Beginnings and Rebirthing to Life

After significant life events, there often is a need to rebirth ourselves and raise from the ashes so that we can fully land into the new space, new way of living. Any new beginning requires recognition the depth of that beginning and an assimilation process to it as if you are just taking your first breath in this newly starting life. One would realize such a significant transformation by finding faith in its body and mind and gently releasing one’s self into this experience.

So then, how one can give a rebirth to oneself? It requires a warrior-like awareness to understand one’s own behavioral patterns, where the fear is sliding in and contaminating the responses. It necessitates significant amount of quality time with one’s self so that one can reestablish new neural pathways to create a new, loving, kind, compassionate responses to whatever it is happening in the experience. And it requires qualities of yin, the feminine principle of nourishment, stillness, love; after all you need a time to gestate prior to the birth.

When one takes up such a journey of change in anything such as a new relationship, moving to a new location, starting up a new career, etc., meditation; daily restorative, hatha, yin types of yoga practices, gentle diet, being in the nature and any kind of creative activity where one connects to one’s higher-self becomes very helpful.

I have an upcoming guided meditation session to support any kind of new in anyone’s life. To learn more, visit Upcoming Events.

May you find the courage to rebirth yourselves into the most potent and fertile versions of you with ease…

Further resources: #DyingtobeMe by #AnitaMoorjani, #ProofofHeaven by #EbenAlexander, MD

Tijen Genco, MS, PCC, MBB, E-RYT200

Coaching of the body-mind, Somatic coaching…

“Most psychologists treat the mind as disembodied, a phenomenon with the little or no connection to the physical body. Conversely physicians treat the body with no regard to the mind or the emotions. But the body and the mind are not separate, and we cannot treat one without the other.” Dr. Candace Pert.

Although the word “body-mind” is traditionally being used across eastern cultures to define mind-body connection, it is recently gaining understanding in the Western Scientific circles as well as Western Culture. Dr. Candace Pert made a breakthrough discovery even before she was chief of brain biochemistry at the National Institutes of Health, which changed the way scientists understand the mind-body connection. She found the opiate receptor, the mechanism by which a class of chemicals (peptides) alters the mind and body. Her research led her to an understanding on how emotions function as a regulatory system in the body. Dr. Pert’s work revealed that the emotions are not simply chemicals in the brain. They are electrochemical signals that affect the chemistry and electricity of every cell in the body. Pert also explained in her theory that neuropeptides and their receptors are the biochemicals of emotions, carrying information in a vast network linking the material world of molecules with the nonmaterial world of the psyche.

Scientific research is now uncovering what mind-body modalities thought over the years that the body as a whole keeps the stories of the individual’s life experiences as electronic information inside the cells. Therefore, engaging just the mind of the client during the coaching conversation may result significant missed opportunity for change to take place. In this article I will be sharing Somatic coaching as a way to engage client’s system as a whole during the coaching conversation so that the change process has an opportunity take place holistically.

Somatic coaching is a significant tool that brings the body-mind connection into the coaching conversations. Somatic approach to coaching enables coaches to observe clients holistically during the coaching conversations and encourages clients to do the same. Soma comes from the Greek word for body. The role and power of the body is often ignored in conventional coaching conversations. The somatic coaching combines body’s intelligence with the client’s sensate experience to devise a strategy for change. It is a process in which one embodies new practices to be able to create a body of action.

In a study reported in the February 26, 1998 issue of Nature (Vol. 391, pp. 871-874), researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have conducted a highly controlled experiment demonstrating how a beam of electrons is affected by the act of being observed. The experiment revealed that the greater the amount of “watching,” the greater the observer’s influence on what actually takes place. Quantum Physicists Dr. Fred Allan Wolf states that according to quantum mechanics there is no reality until that reality is perceived and we change reality simply by observing it. This means that the observing body-mind response to the “client’s agenda” for the coaching conversation will support the change enablement for human system as a whole.

When client is open to experience the somatic coaching and the client’s agenda is suitable for the method, I first use breathing techniques to bring the client into a state of “mindfulness”. In order for objective observation to take place both for the client and the coach requires stillness of the mind so that the impact of the “subject for the client’s agenda” can be observed in the body as a whole. For this part of the practice deepening the breath as well as the breathing cycles required in order to shift the brain waves to Alpha or Theta states. This way the body can be relaxed, emotions that are held in the deep tissue can rise up to the surface and what is being communicated by each cell that is resulting the experience become clearer.

This process supports the coachee in his or her experience from the being who is the one inside the experience towards more who is the one observing it. Once the state of calmness obtained with deep relaxation techniques, the coach can engage the whole body-mind awareness in the conversation such as “What are the impacts of this experience inside of your body? Where do you feel the emotion/belief? What is the quality of it? How is it impacting your whole body chemistry? What are the results of that? Where is the tension? If you were to relax the tension how would that change your overall experience in this particular subject, etc.?”. The powerful questioning that is inclusive to whole body-mind will enable deepened awareness for the client on their systematic responses to the situation at hand.

Once some awareness is gained in the subject regarding to systemic experience, then if client is open, and coach is willing and trained, some mind-body poses can be used to enable the change through the somatic release. In this part of the practice, I often use the yoga postures that are targeting the particular area that the client has sensed the patterns that are not in harmony with the rest of the system. I would recommend converting the yoga posture into a restorative nature. This way client is not spending effort to stay in the pose, rather deeply relaxed into it so that the observation is effortless and deep; and can come to the surface through the stillness in the body-mind system. While client is in a deeper connection with the area in the body where the belief/emotions are being stored, body-mind responses have the ability to express themselves resulting the change in the molecular response that is required to experience rather than directed through the client’s mind.

Let me share an example from a recent somatic coaching session to deepen readers understanding on how Somatic Coaching works. Client was expressing an impingement of a nerve during our regular sessions, which was running from her shoulder all the way to her fingers that were aching throbbing and generally uncomfortable both day and night for her for about three months. After explaining what Somatic Coaching is to her, I asked if she would be interested in experiencing one of our sessions that way to explore the underlying issues of this pain? She expressed an interest since she has been under a Physical Therapy for three months and it was not resolving the issue although it was helping her to be functional despite the pain. I started to session in meditative nature where we quieted our minds and set an intention to explore deeper her experience with the impinging nerve. I then engaged inquiries about the pain, the quality of it, where she feels it, etc. This enabled her to shift from being the “experiencer” into being the “observer”. During the session I placed her into the relevant postures as she learned more about the “nerve pain” through our inquiry to explore the body while I had her hold poses and engaging in coaching style inquiry. This allowed “her mind to go deep into the body and be aided by spirit” as she described it. In her words the result for her was”… a lasting understanding of what I was feeling physically while understanding how my thought patterns and emotional patterns were aiding and abetting the chronic discomfort.”

What our session revealed to her was her need to “shoulder” other people’s pain and problems. Once she came to this understanding right there then, the nerve pressure she was experiencing started to cease. With deeper emotional understanding she was able to hear thought patterns easier. She reported that the chronic condition greatly improved in a short period of time ultimately ending in total resolution for her as she became aware of the initiating thought patterns.

“To change your mind, is to change your body to function differently” says Stanly Keleman, the director of the Center for Energetic Studies in Berkeley, California. As a seasoned coach as well as mind-body teacher, my understanding is that to create a change in your experience you need to change your body-mind’s response to the experience itself. And that requires mind-body awareness. Accordingly, as a coach, if mind-body modalities are not part of your own life, somatic coaching might not be a suitable tool for you since you might not be able to guide the coachee through their experience inside their body. If you are engaged in some modalities of mind-body practices then you may consider to utilize somatic coaching as part of your practice considering that it is a powerful tool, which initiates the change from the core and often supports clients for life-long, lingering patterns that are hard to change through the mind.

As mentioned above, somatic coaching may not be a tool for every coach and may not be a fit for every client. Like any other methods, it requires to approach with integrity, openness and respect of the client needs…

Somatic coaching can also be utilized during virtual sessions, however utilizing somatic engagement virtually requires much more experienced coach in mind-body modalities as well as deeper connection at the client’s end to their body.–


Fear-less Choices

Fear is form of an energy almost everyone get to experience while being alive. We know it is debilitating. Despite the fact that we often experience the same fear over and over again we don’t know how to release the fear or how not to take part in it. To me, most of the teachings out there are teaching people the wrong methods for engaging the fear. Most people will teach you to “get rid of it”. When one choses the method of battle with anything, it just adds to the energy exchange and does not release it. Some teachers are teaching to be more compassionate towards the fear. Again, this method ends up feeding the fear energy as well…

So then how one get to free one’s self from the fear experience? It is very simple. By choosing otherwise and simply stating it out loud. This works, because fear is like anything else, is a choice. Regardless you are choosing to engage in it consciously or unconsciously you are making a choice. So if the choice is being done at the unconscious level, of course then the first step is to create awareness and bring the choice making to the conscious level. Once the choices are being made at the conscious levels then you get to choose otherwise. It is then and only then you can offer the compassion to the parts of you has been experiencing the fear. When one experiences fear, it is often there is a dismissal and disrespectful exchange occurs with that part of you. The compassion is not to be offered to the fear itself but to the part that has been paralyzed by this choice over the years… (I will not be speaking on this blog about how you get to engage in fear-accepting choices to begin with. These are often loaded onto your psyche through the genetics and ancestral offerings of the lineage or by the cultures that you are part of).

In order to make this fear-less choice making a fun exercise for you, I am going to give you a song to sing…Below, I modified the lyrics of famous Diana Ross song called I will Survive….In my version, the Name of the Song becomes “I will Thrive”! Since the survival is a choice of “being able to live or function when faced with a struggle”. I am offering you the word “thrive” so that you chose to flourish instead of surviving…I intentionally left some of the lyrics that speaks about the dependency in the relationship as we do often show that in our behavior when we relate to fear. It is my prayer and hope to make the fear-releasing process more fun and joyful for you…That is the best way to make a change!

I will Thrive

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin’ I could never live without you by my side
Then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong and I learned how to get along

And so you’re back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face
I have chosen to change the lock
I chose to make you leave your key
I am aware that you came back to bother me

Go on now, go walk out the door!
Just turn around now ‘coz you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I’d crumble, did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no not I, I will thrive
For as long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live and I’ve got all my love to give
I’ll thrive, I will thrive, hey hey

(I, I will thrive)
Hey hey
(I, I will thrive)
Every day
(I, I will thrive)
Oh yeah

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Just know now how to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry but now I hold my head up high

And you see me, somebody new
I’m not that chained up little person still engages wih you
And so you felt like dropping in and just engaging with you
But now I’m savin’ all my lovin’ for all who’s lovin’ me

Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now, you’re not welcome anymore
Weren’t you the one who tried to break me all along?
Did you think I’d crumble, did you think I’d lay down and die?

Oh no not I, I will thrive
For as long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive
I’ve got all my life to live and I’ve got all my love to give
I’ll thrive, I will thrive, hey hey

Diana Ross, 2012 Live Concert Performance of I Will Survive Concert


Tijen Genco, MS, PCC, MBB